Kissing Crane
Please Rate My Poem.?
This soul so filled with passions poured in with you. Is it true that heaven should descend upon us? What it would be to hold each other in those minimum of caresses, that surround and engulf our very being.
To be warmed by the divine lavender of your milky pearl skin. To be held by the soft contrast of your marble black hair. Surely I would topple into those deep almond eyes but for rimless glasses that keep me at bay.
Would it be so wrong? Just one soft simple kiss, passions charged convecting through our spine. All control failing, yet one last deep breath to resist… innocently revealing a voluptuousness to those breasts you so humbly hide.
To more enrage our coil of warm radiant glow. Electric to the touch as mine cheek feathers so softly down the length of thine. Neck upon neck paralyzed by the tantalizing tickle of our white crane embrace. Tis good, we should keep this moment. For come what may, it shall always inflame the goodness of our hearts.
You are being overly obscure and wordy. You don’t have to show off an advanced vocabulary to make good poetry, some of my favorite poets in history are unbelievably simple in their wording. Also your sentences are structured oddly (several, but look at the first one) The soul is filled with passions poured from you; would make MUCH more sense. “in with you” is grammatically atrocious and the “so” is unnecessary, just throwing off the rhythm. That is the next important thing, when you make poetry too wordy you throw off the natural rhythm of your reading. It should roll off the tongue, be fluid or powerful. You seem to have a general idea of the way you should direct a lusty, rapturous poem but you are simply overdoing it on the vocabulary and trying too hard to be this ideal lofty poet. I would think if you simplified it, it could be something worth a read.
KC35 KISSING CRANE LARGE BROWN MULE
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Crowned CRANE – pair in courtship display Photo Mugs USH-784 Crowned CRANE – pair in courtship display Captive Balearica regulorum Distribution Senegal to Nigeria Duncan Usher Please note that prints are for personal display purposes only and may not be reproduced in any way. contact details prints ardea tel 020 8672 2067…. |
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Red-crowned Crane – pair displaying, necks intertwined. In snow Photo Mugs WAT-8308 Red-crowned Crane – pair displaying, necks intertwined. In snow Hokkaido, Japan Grus japonensis M. Watson Please note that prints are for personal display purposes only and may not be reproduced in any way. contact details prints ardea tel 020 8672 2067…. |
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The One With Mrs. Bing $1.99 … |
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Photo Jigsaw Puzzle of Crowned CRANE – pair in courtship display from Ardea Wildlife Pets $24.99 Photo Puzzle, Crowned CRANE – pair in courtship display. USH-784 Crowned CRANE – pair in courtship display Captive Balearica regulorum Distribution Senegal to Nigeria Duncan Usher Please note that prints are for personal display purposes only and may not be reproduced in any way. contact details prints ardea tel 020 8672 2067. Chosen by Ardea Wildlife Pets. 10×14 Photo Puzzle with 252 pieces. Pack… |
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Photo Jigsaw Puzzle of Red-crowned Crane – pair displaying, necks intertwined. In snow from Ardea Wildlife Pets $24.99 Photo Puzzle, Red-crowned Crane – pair displaying, necks intertwined. In snow. WAT-8308 Red-crowned Crane – pair displaying, necks intertwined. In snow Hokkaido, Japan Grus japonensis M. Watson Please note that prints are for personal display purposes only and may not be reproduced in any way. contact details prints ardea tel 020 8672 2067. Chosen by Ardea Wildlife Pets. 10×14 Photo Puzzle with 25… |
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