Knife Uncle

How do I disarm a possesed feline cat with a knife hissing outside my bedroom door?
Ok PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS PLEASE!!!!!
I was bored tonight so I decided to make a quiji board and talk to spirits. Pooper and I then placed our hands on the indicator and called on the spirits of dead people.
Well 3 minutes into it my feline cat pooper started to talk like my uncle and he started hissing. Next thing I know my cat stands on only his 2 bottom feet and runs upright to my desk and pulled out a pocket knife on me.
I ran over to pooper to help but it was too dangeorus. Now hes outside my bedroom door talking backwards in human language. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??
He said he will trade my life for my body but i have to put my soul in the cat body. I wonder if I should be a cat. I really dont care as long as I can still be a clown.
I really need an exorcist or someone that deals with possesed cats. The spirut says its name is Jugobanga. How is my cat able to stand upright with a knife in his paws?
Has this ever happened to anyone before?
First of all you crank up the heat in the house to about 100. Take a pile of cat crap and smear it in your hair. Then you stand on your head and yell, “OOGA BOOGA” for approximately 24 hours. No more knife welding cats. They be all gone!
Uncle Acid and the deadbeats- Ritual Knife
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