Serrated Lock
Born to kill…a short rhymey type poem thingy…sorta…will you read it?
Born to Kill
Marching mascara massacre
oh such serrated glance
she is a sweet m-16 marine,
for lock and load romance
machine gunning kisses
in between heated hisses
close quarter cluster bomb hips
and tough love tear gas lips
hear the air raid sirens call
and even purple hearts fall
I dream
the speakers scream
till it is shrill
are we
born to kill?
war torn
territory
a forlorn
scene is gory
cold calculation
skilled at confrontation
is it a subtle invitation?
uninhibited motivation?
hey now!
a medal is won
just having fun
look see!
make love
not war
when the battle is over
be sure
settle the score
storm the shore
from victory to victory
forever more!
This poem reminds me of e.e. cummings’ poem ‘next to of course god america i’.
Personally, I think the shorter and condensed the poem, the more fierce and thought provoking.
The poem shows good themes and deep insight, but could use revisions in clarity and organization.
I would also put more personal feeling in the poem, like what are your feelings on this? I think poetry is a form of self expression and should give the reader a peek into what the author is thinking, or the persona the author creates.
Anyways, solid poem that shows high potential.
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