Tabacco Bone
My 18 yr old son has returned home after trying it on his own. Things are not going well. Help, please!?
He returned home after living in CA for a few months. At first he was grateful and kind. He had been living without running water, heat, real food, and sleeping on a car part . He dropped out of high school, wants to work doing something mostly illegal & has become very disrespectful. His room is filthy (food on the floor, dirty clothes, tabacco, etc.), he leaves and doesn’t call or return for days, & he leaves everything he uses or takes out wherever he drops it. My kitchen is a mess, my house is a wreck. He punched a hole in a wall & his bedroom door while fighting with me & let me know it very easily could have been my face. He has contributed approx. $100/2 weeks but I am buying his food, clothes. He has used my money to buy tobacco and booze behind my back. He promises he’s changing. I don’t want to throw him out. I want to resolve things. BTW, I am handicapped and mostly wheelchair bound. My bone marrow has gone bad. My time is limited. I need a solution, please.
This will not be what you want to hear but the best thing you can do for your son is have him move out. It’s called “tough love” and is the hardest thing you can do but it is the only thing you can really do at this time as he is out of control. That isn’t your fault nor can YOU fix your son’s problems. I am really sorry to tell you that. Deep down, I suspect you already know that there will be no magic solution to this problem and that the only solution that is workable at this time is his removal from your home. You may have to call the police to have him move. As time goes on, he should get his head on straight but I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy for you for a while as he will probably say some horrible things to you and blame you for all of his troubles. After some time alone, he won’t have you to blame and may realize that his problem is the person he sees in the mirror.
The best thing you can do is separate homes at this time. Truly. It will be hard but the right choice usually is the hardest.
Tobacco Road, Finale, Tom Hock Music-Video